Of the many concepts that are ethically important, one is incredibly valuable in this age of inflated self-importance and unhealthy narcissism: genuine self-respect.
What is "genuine" self-respect? It is, more correctly, just "self-respect", but needs to have the qualifier to distinguish it from fraudulent self-respect: that which is proposed by the self-help circles and certain religious traditions.
These forms of fraudulent self-respect are called "self-respect", "self-esteem" "unconditional positive self-regard", etc, but amount to an unhealthy psychological concept called narcissism.
Narcissism vs. self-respect is a debate which seems too muddy to consider, but can be distilled into key similarities and differences.
What is "genuine" self-respect? It is, more correctly, just "self-respect", but needs to have the qualifier to distinguish it from fraudulent self-respect: that which is proposed by the self-help circles and certain religious traditions.
These forms of fraudulent self-respect are called "self-respect", "self-esteem" "unconditional positive self-regard", etc, but amount to an unhealthy psychological concept called narcissism.
Narcissism vs. self-respect is a debate which seems too muddy to consider, but can be distilled into key similarities and differences.
- Similarities include the focus of both concepts on what the self is, what the self does, and why the self does what it does.
- Differences arise from the different answers to these questions.
So, while a narcissistic line of thinking and a self-respecting line of thinking begin with the same starting point, they end in two disparate locations.
Narcissism is a failed way of thinking because it requires no integrity, no love for yourself, no conscious valuing of principles, and importantly, no thought. It takes any input of behavior or thought and converts it into an output of "that was good".
Everything you do is good, so nothing you do is good enough (because you have no differentiation between categories, they become too generalized to be useful). This leads to frustration and resentment. Your satisfaction becomes dim and you seek highs of emotional experience, through coercing others, failing to accept reality, and diminishing your own worth.
Self-respect is a successful way of thinking because it is an effect of a determinable cause. Have you lived up to your higher principles? The reward is a degree of self-respect. Are you consistent in doing so? The reward is more self-respect. Are these principles applied consistently across time and across situations? The reward is even greater self-respect. It creates a positive feedback loop, in which satisfaction with one's life and character is followed by even greater satisfaction.
The primary difference between implementing these two (narcissism and self-respect) can be paraphrased from Yoda, the character from Star Wars. When teaching the protagonist, Luke, about the difference between the good and evil, he claims that evil is not more powerful, but easier and more seductive. The same is true for narcissism; it is easier to think less, and harder to think more.
Self-respect requires thought, effort, consistency, and objective principles. The reward is lasting and self-sustaining joy. Narcissism requires little effort, thought, consistency or principle, and the reward is self-destruction.
Which is preferable?
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